We’re loving our Michigan summer….back home in a week!

40 things is a lot of fucking things.

I decided I could easily come up with 40 things that annoy me. I could also come up with 40 small pleasures, but who’d want to read that? It’d be way too Sound of Music.

Here’s my list:

40 things that are becoming less and less tolerable the closer I get to 40

1.) sing-songy voices (“Nice to meeeet yooooouuuuuuuu!”)
2.) platform flip-flops
3.) people who support the ban of gay marriage yet watch The Bachelor
4.) Jimmy Buffet
5.) people who say sweaters and furniture are “fun”
6.) baby talk
7.) holiday ties
8.) the word “slacks”
9.) mimes
10.) dogs that sniff my crotch
11.) people at the checkout counter that ask for my phone number
12.) mispronunciations on audio books e.g. “He grabbed a grand latte from Starbucks”
13.) temperatures over 85 degrees
14.) pans that are not non-stick
15.) baseball caps
16.) this bumper sticker: “3 nails + 1 cross = 4given”
17.) “supposably”
18.) Hummels
19.) poop in a swim diaper
20.) sweaty fat people in airports
21.) the Grateful Dead
22.) not allowing children to play tag at recess because it’s too dangerous
23.) the never-ending Manhattan v. Brooklyn debate
24.) restaurants that claim to take online reservations but then make you call to confirm that you made an online reservation
25.) people who are not my children calling me Mom
26.) Facebook status updates like “TGIF” or “wish I wasn’t at work!”
27.) Bunco clubs
28.) the “words” lactivist and intactivist
29.) childless urbanites that scoff at my love for the starbucks drive-thru
30.) alternate spellings of ordinary names e.g. Lindzee.
31.) foursquare updates on twitter. I don’t care that you’re at the gym. or airport. or hip new restaurant. at all.
32.) smokers
33.) obsessive lawn maintenance
34.) my mom using outdated euphemisms for sex e.g. bump uglies
35.) smug parents who claim they started reading chapter books to their child when he was 3, etc.
36.) harem pants
37.) the overuse of exclamation points e.g. I can’t wait to see you!!!!!!!!!!
38.) people who write “per say”
39.) getting caught in the rain when wearing flip-flops
40.) festivals of any kind

Posting will be light for the next month. I’ll try and see if I can find some guest posters for you, my beloved ten readers. Hang tight. Or tough.

The kids and I are leaving on Saturday for Michigan. Zoe and I will be there for a month.

I have so much to do that I’m not doing anything.

I rule.

My sister was visiting last weekend, and while she was using her gmail account I saw that hers was more minimal STILL. It was lovely. I was EXCITED about it. And I was jealous she found it first.

It’s called Helvetimail. It’s a userscript that works with your browser to change the look of your gmail. I love it. To death.

I even donated some money to the dude who keeps it up, because you know what? I appreciate that people work hard to provide good design for free. All you have to do is NOT charge me, and I will pay you. Ha.

I do like his choices, though.

I can’t wait to see what Paul comes up with.

I was going through an old blog I kept from 2002-2005 and found a post about listening to “The Professor and the Madman” by Simon Winchester on CD while on a road trip.

I think I had my head in books then, too.

I found it interesting, so I’ll just repost it here. [Warning: this is from the "I type only in lowercase" era. You have my permission to be annoyed.]

Have you read anything lately that blew your mind?

We’ve been talking about buying something new for about year, but we’ve been really unsure about what we’d get to replace it.

Enter my friend Paul, who is a cartoonist and illustrator. We have decided to commission him to do something for us but WHAT?!? I would guess I’m not alone in knowing art I like when I see it, but suck royally when I have to come up with ideas. (suck royally? who is writing this blog, a 14 year old boy?)

I called Paul the other day and confessed that I am an idea-less wonder. Luckily, he said I could just send him some examples of art I like and he’d do the rest. “Ideas are not a problem,” he said (cue angels singing).

My sister is a graphic/web designer and suggested I register at Image Spark to see if I could find some inspiration. The idea is that you search through millions of images and pick out ones you like and add them to a gallery.

It’s pretty interesting to look at the images I chose and try to see what kind of pattern/theme shows up. Animals, cityscapes, goofballs? Skyscrapers, bicyclists, gum?

If you’re ever in need of any visual inspiration (or are trying to kill time), I suggest you check it out.

There is really nothing more precious than watching your child sleep.

And yes, she is wearing her bathing suit. That is how we roll.