Archives » 2011 » October
Travis and I don’t share a bedroom. We LOVE our setup and honestly believe we’ve found (one of) the secret (s) to a happy marriage. For US, anyway.
I know people think we’re crazy. I notice that some people think it’s a red flag in general; when talking about a mutual couple headed for divorce they’d say something like, “oh, they’d been growing apart for a while…they don’t even sleep in the same bedroom.” Other people ask, “when do you have sex?”
Here’s what’s really going on: Travis and I are pretty different and we really like that about each other. We don’t like, however, how the other person is with the bedroom stuff.
1.) Travis is a neatnik. I am a slob.
2.) I snore and I REALLY snored when I was pregnant.
3.) I sleep with my babies. Babies can be noisy and they almost always end up sleeping perpendicular to you in a shared bed. Travis wasn’t always so into that.
4.) Travis’s body turns into a furnace at night. I prefer sleeping in cool temps.
We used to share a bedroom, obviously. Then Zoe went through her “baby werewolf” phase as we affectionately called it. She woke up HOWLING and screeching and Travis was having to wear earplugs at night and his ears were starting to bother him. I suggested he go sleep in the guest room. And guess who never came back?
It was a little tricky at first because I think we were both a little nervous to be the first one to admit we liked this arrangement better. I didn’t have to worry about him losing sleep and I could let Zoe howl and sleep in the nutty positions she liked. We had more room and the bed stayed nice and cool. He could line his shoes up in a perfect row and I could throw my clothes on the floor.
Once we let it fly that we were happier this way, we decided to make it permanent. One benefit to living in cookie-cutter land is that we have a big house with enough bedrooms to accommodate this kind of malarkey.
And about the sex, I’ve always been a little mystified by that question. Do people really only have sex when they go to bed at night? If so, that sounds depressing. I get to visit my husband in his bachelor pad (complete with fridge and bar cart!) and then retreat to my own space where I can snuggle my little nursling to sleep.
[too much info? well, this blog probably isn't for you, you ninny.]
What do you think? Do you think we’re nuts? Or sort of awesomely cutting edge?