Archives » 2011 » September
September23
so sooooo soooooo tired
“I count it as a certainty that in paradise, everyone naps.” -Tom Hodgkinson
I know everything’s been said about babies and sleep-deprivation. I know I’m not presenting you with any new information here. But you know what? Babies – they don’t let you sleep.
I was talking to a friend recently about this particular type of exhaustion that only parents know. Having gone through it before (she’s on her THIRD!), we both agreed that it only helps to know it doesn’t last so that you don’t sink into some kind of very deep depression and stop washing your hair and the dishes completely. It doesn’t make you any less tired.
Being this tired is bizarre. It makes even the most mundane tasks seem insurmountable. Can I *really* get that garbage bag out to the dumpster? I think not. I’ll just sit here because sitting here is working. I’m okay here.
When I’m actually sleeping I’m dreaming about more sleep. I fantasize about sleep. I think about pillows and soft sheets all day long. I envy my husband and my other children and all of that motherfucking sleep they’re getting. When I lay down with the baby to get HER to sleep, I lay my head on the pillow but I MUST! NOT! GET! TOO! ATTACHED! lest my three year old comes busting in the room asking for snacks.
At night when I finally lay down, I fill with anxiety thinking about how quickly I’ll surely be awakened.
“Allison Harvey and Nicole Tang of Oxford University showed in one experiment that people with primary insomnia underestimate the total amount of sleep they get and overestimate how long it takes them to fall asleep. This suggests that maybe it’s not so much the amount of sleep or the quality that matters, but how anxious you are about how much sleep you (incorrectly in all likelihood) think you’ve had.” (from HERE)
I’m not an insomniac but I THINK this applies to me and I think it might be one of the only things that makes me feel better.
Eventually, we’ll all be sleeping (what in a few years?) and I’ll miss when my babies were babies so I’m at peace with all of this. I’m just too tired to unload the dishwasher.
September21
new me
There’s a new me.
I’ve made some personal upgrades.
Some things never change (I will always hate sorbet) and then some things do. A while back, a friend and I agreed that if you don’t get your shit together after you have your last kid then you’re probably fucked. If you don’t lose the weight, start eating better, carve out time for yourself and the things that make YOU happy, etc, you might just slide down a slippery slope and become the kind of person who wears Pajama Jeans for the rest of her life.
Of course, you might not. It’s never too late and all that. Sure. But realistically, I think if you just hammer that shit out after you are done having kids your chances at long-term success are better.
So what kinds of changes have I made?
In mid-June I became a bit of a Nutritarian. Yes, I just typed that word (I know what you’re thinking…”UNSUBSCRIBE!” because I would think that, too). I lost about 30 lbs in 3 months eating this way and I feel GREAT. [click on the word nutritarian to see what the hell I'm talking about] I am a huge fan of vegetables now (have you heard of them?).
Also, I started drinking beer. I have been a wine drinker ALL of my adult life. Suddenly, though, after having Junie, it started giving me KILLER headaches. The I-can’t-sleep-because-my-head’s-in-a-vice kind. So I started drinking beer. If you know me in real life, you know I’m not a beer drinker. But I’ve decided I’m going to drink beer and I’ve actually found a few that I love. One downside I’ve found, however, is that it’s appropriate to drink beer a lot more often than wine. 4 o’clock on a hot day? Beer. The beach? Beer. Must practice some self-restraint there.
Since we started the spending fast, I’ve actually become kind of frugal. I have NEVER been frugal. I’m always the one who suggests we all just go ahead and splurge. Now I’m all, “let’s figure out a way to do that without spending the money.” SOMETIMES. Which is better than no-times.
Since we moved bedrooms, I’ve been thinking about what I want to do with my bedroom (which is pink and had a million Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner posters all over it) and I’m wanting to go in a totally different direction. I’m going for moody, elegant, romantic (see my pinterest board here). Who knew I had it in me?
Made any changes in your life lately? Want to become a nutrutarian with me?
September19
calm down, you’re doing fine.
My very good friend, Liz, just started a new blog and I’m SO FUCKING EXCITED ABOUT IT.
[You might remember Liz from THIS POST.]
She’s a brilliant writer but she also has good ideas and refreshing perspectives on all sort of things.
“I’m not a parenting expert, or even an expert on anything. I’m just a mom to two girls who realized one day that somehow I felt stressed out about being a good parent and I realized, simultaneously, that that stress was one of the most useless emotions I’d ever have. Fear and stress have no place in parenting (no place in much of anything, as far as I’m concerned, but especially not with parenting.) I also realized that I had all of the tools I needed to make parenting a joyful experience, rather than a fretful one. I started this blog to remind myself and maybe a few others of how to use those tools to keep my life simple and my relationship with my children joyful.”
I love it. It’s sort of similar to what this economist is saying over HERE. Parenting can and should be much more enjoyable than we’re making it and your kids will still turn out fine.
p.s.
I wish I was the sort of person who had time to figure out how to link an image to a website or indent/center text because those skills would have helped in this post but I’m not. Sorry. You would NOT believe the pile of dishes in my sink.
September15
art – finished!
Anybody remember THIS post? And then THIS one? Wherein we commissioned my friend, Paul, to create some wall art for our ridiculously large living room wall?
Well, we got our new wall art.
Isn’t it incredible?
It’s so awesome I can’t even stand it.
A huge, hearty thanks to Paul.
I love having such super talented friends.
September14
rearrange
I am getting the distinct feeling that you want me to bore you with my house woes. Great! Here I go!
When we bought our house 5 years ago, our plan was to stay in it for 5 years. So, we bought a house that suited us at the time. We had two kids aged 4 (Jack) and 7 (Josie) half the time and we didn’t know where Travis would be working (he was a stay-at-home dad for 7 years up until we got married). So, we just bought the coolest house we could afford. We didn’t put all that much thought into it and we certainly didn’t do what my friend Liz did; she made a motherfucking RUBRIC.
Anyway, due to all kinds of complicated developments (housing market, J and J’s mom’s location, etc) we are probably going to stay in this house. Thing is – now we have 4 kids of vastly different ages (5 months, 3.5, 9 and 12) and the stupidest floor plan ever to exist. We have three bedrooms and one bathroom upstairs (a 1/2 story). The master bed and bath on the main floor, and then one bedroom and a bathroom in the basement.
The setup right now is this: All of the kids’ rooms are upstairs. My room is the master. Travis’s is the basement. (No, we don’t share a room – that’s a good post I’ll save for another day. Yes, we have sex.) Jack and Josie are here every other week and sleep upstairs. Zoe and Junie both sleep in my bed all the time. It BLOWS. I’m a hard-core bed-sharer with my babies, but I am NOT at all into this bed-sharing with a 3.5 year old who wakes up at 3am and orders me to sing her songs so she can get back to sleep. Fuck no, homes. Get in your own bed.
Thing is – her bedroom is upstairs! ON A DIFFERENT FLOOR. A.) there is no way I’m making trips up and down stairs in the middle of the night and B.) I don’t really want her to have to do that, either and C.) I don’t think it’s fair to ask her to move from my bed to a different floor.
So what’s the solution? We went rounds about this but finally decided to move Josie to the basement, Travis to the master, me to Josie’s upstairs bedroom and Zoe into her own room. Jack stays where he is. Trav’s big hesitation was giving Josie (12) too much privacy. But I argued that we’re slowly giving her more and more independence and we’re going to put her in a car AS THE DRIVER in three short years. Also, I want her to want to be here and having two younger sisters all up in her biz might suck as she gets older. Plus – this way she can spend 45 minutes in the bathroom at a go and no one will know the difference.
What do you think? Would you be comfortable moving your 12 year old to a basement bedroom? Or would you be comfortable having your small kids on a different floor than a parent?
I’m wondering about the person that came up with this idea of a main-floor master. I feel like maybe it was a parent of teenagers or an old fogie who didn’t want to climb stairs. Or a terrorist.
