Archives » 2010 » April
April15
Road trips are like therapy. I need some therapy so I’m packing up my car and kid and I’m off.
We leave tomorrow for Chicago…one of my absolute favorite cities (I would say favorite but um, London? Paris?) and I can honestly say that of all the cities that I have called home, it’s Chicago I miss the most. I haven’t been back since I birthed this baby of mine and I can’t wait to show her off to my Chicago friends.
* I plan to eat french toast at this quirky little restaurant in Roscoe Village.
*I love to visit THIS STORE.
*Zoe will probably enjoy THIS.
*I have wonderful memories eating HERE with friends.
I can’t wait!
photo by my friend, Stephen.
April14
Now that we’ve got the kitchen done and those dark, miserable cabinets are no longer a part of my daily life I feel I can safely move on to another part of the house.
It’s finally SPRING and I’m spending a lot of time on my front porch. Here are a few things I’ve got my eye on:
A few years ago, Gabrielle at Design Mom did a little front stoop makeover and the color of her door is just PERFECT, in my opinion, and would totally work with our front porch and it’s not weird enough to horrify my lame, suburban neighbors. Don’t get me wrong, I have horrified them in the past, I just don’t want to keep doing it for the sake of my children. You understand.
I love this barcode doormat found at Think Geek.
I have already ordered the True doorbell from Spore.
Because we like to be as futuristic as possible around here, we have our eye on a fingerprint scan keyless entry.
Look for before and after photos soon, homies.
April12
You’ll never believe it – the things that have happened since that before-and-after picture of my kitchen. Oh, to go back in time and post about my kitchen….
Remember my post about the madness of trying to conceive? And how I might go insane? Well, I didn’t have to worry about that because not terribly long after I published that post I found I out I was pregnant. Pregnant! My due date was just 2 days off from Zoe’s. They’d be exactly 3 years apart.
But, no.
They won’t be exactly 3 years apart. I lost the pregnancy. Another one.
Really?! ANOTHER one? Is that what you’re thinking? Because that is what I’m thinking.
This time, I started to worry because right at 6 weeks I didn’t have any symptoms. I wasn’t nauseated. I hadn’t made a single trip to McDonald’s for some bizarre menu item I’d never had before but was convinced I needed. The mind-blowing exhaustion that I’d had the week before had slowly let up.
A few days later – Cramping. Spotting. Bleeding. The End.
I was 6 weeks 2 days. I’d known I was pregnant for 16 days. That is not a lot of days. But it is enough to get excited, enough to get used to not drinking coffee and alcohol and enough to start imagining how different your life will be in a year.
I was telling a friend the other day that this kind of thing is like getting kicked in three different places at once. One: You don’t get a baby. Two: You have to go through the ordeal of losing a pregnancy – the physical aspect is not pleasant. Three: You get to worry and wonder what the hell is wrong with you.
I’m sad. I hate to be sad. Sad doesn’t jive with my personality. I don’t know what to do with sad. I don’t know what to do with being 2 beats from crying at any moment.
But I’m not sad all the time. I’m doing ok, really. I’m sad, but ok. My parents are wonderful, my husband is amazing and my child is the absolute light of my life.
I have much to be grateful for.
p.s.
Please don’t say these things to someone who has had a miscarriage: “Well, it’s common, right?” or “It IS 1 in 4 pregnancies.” IT DOESN’T MATTER. IT HURTS. FUCK OFF.
April01
BEFORE
AFTER
Road trips are like therapy. I need some therapy so I’m packing up my car and kid and I’m off. 
